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This song was written about Florida's 44th Governor, Charlie Crist, who believes he can stop hurricanes by writing notes on a magical piece of paper. He's also a big jerk, and you should tell him so if you ever have the displeasure of running into him. (Note: Although no hurricanes actually hit Florida while he was governor, he failed to use his magic notes from stopping them from hitting impoverished Caribbean and Central American Nations. If you had magic stationary, wouldn't you do better than that?)

lyrics

Yeah he'd love to shake your hand
showing off his great suntan,
even in the cold of February.

Does it for Florida's protection.
Change the hurricanes progression,
thanks to his magic stationary.

A manicure, his hair is slick.
But, still I think that he's a prick.
Typical dick-face reactionary.

Ignorant to all the facts,
worst governor since Sidney Catts.
And now he's my personal adversary.

Whoa Suntan Charlie can you stop a hurricane?
Whoa Suntan Charlie do you need me to explain?
Whoa Suntan Charlie settle down and get a grip.
Whoa Suntan Charlie whole world knows your full of shit.

Everybody thinks it's weird
no facial hair, but he's got a beard.
Insists that he's no different from me and you.

Well, who am I to complain
when Charlie stops that hurricane
from wrecking up my Sunday barbecue.

But, then he goes on the attack.
Yeah he can have his sticker back.
There's no chance of anyone getting through.

Cause now things don't get any better
when Suntan Charlie change the weather.
But, still I say Charlie Crist fuck you, fuck you!

Whoa Suntan Charlie can you stop a hurricane?
Whoa Suntan Charlie do you need me to explain?
Whoa Suntan Charlie settle down and get a grip.
Whoa Suntan Charlie whole world knows your full of shit.

As long as Florida isn't hit
Charlie doesn't give a shit.
Guadeloupe, Mexico,
Martinique and Tobago
Haiti, DR, the Bahamas,
Honduras, and Nicaragua
Homes destroyed thousands dead,
but did you what Charlie said?
He'll protect the sunshine state.
Now don't we all think that's so great?

Whoa Suntan Charlie can you stop a hurricane?
Whoa Suntan Charlie do you need me to explain?
Whoa Suntan Charlie settle down and get a grip.
Whoa Suntan Charlie whole world knows your full of shit.

credits

from Curse of the Unsinkable Ship, released January 18, 2013

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