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1.
We're Johnny Cakes and we're jumping up and you're jumping up cause we're Johnny Cakes. Dancing up grinding in your face, please ignore it when we make mistakes. Come on down when we're in your town. Mover your feet swing your hips around. Jump and laugh 'til your pants fall down. Feel them moves, from that Johnny Cakes sound. Johnny Cakes and we're all the rage. You can buy us drinks cause we're on the stage. You know we don't care if you're under age. Now's the time, for breaking out your cage. Hit the top, we not gonna stop. Gonna drink and dance and go mix it up. You can stop starting at my junk. We not go, 'til you've had enough. Look what we doing over here. Watch what we doing over there. Jellyfish dance up in this act, they help us to distract. So when you no paying attention, Skippy sneak up steal your possession. There you are dancing at the show, rob you blind outa town we go. We're Johnny Cakes and we're jumping up and you're jumping up cause we're Johnny Cakes. Dancing up grinding in your face, please ignore it when we make mistakes. Johnny Cakes and we're all the rage. You can buy us drinks cause we're on the stage. You know we don't care if you're under age. Now's the time, for breaking out your cage. Woohoo!
2.
Hey, it's me. Did you the message that I left to see If you got the flowers that I sent to you? I also sent some to your work you know it's true I'll be waiting for you in the park, as you go jogging by... Do you remember The trip we took to see the pyramids? I know it hasn't happened yet, but it would be cool if it did. I photoshopped a photograph of us out in Egypt. Ok, I don't have photoshop. but I pulled a nifty trick I took your yearbook and cut out a picture of you, pasted it next to a picture of me pasted on a pyramid that I drew. There's a camel there, in our destination. What a time we'll have, on our dream vacation. Yesterday, I wrote a real longer letter to you. Just to say, I can think of nothing better now, than me and you waiting at the same bus stop. And I'll see you when you're working down at the malt shop, as you go skating by... Do you remember The trip we took to Kokomo? I know it hasn't happened yet, but I'd really like to go. I made a painting, of us out on our trip Ok, I don't know how to paint, so this is what I did. I took your yearbook and cut out a picture of you, pasted it next to a picture of me pasted on a hammock that I drew. And there's umbrella drinks, in our destination. What a time we'll have, on our dream vacation. What's so great about your boyfriend? So he knows your last name and has car I know you'll change your, mind in the end. Me and you girl, we'll go far. One day when I'm feeling brave, I'll walk right up now face to face. We'll fall in love, you'll meet my mother, right after I win you over. Sacks and sacks and sacks of money, I would rob a bank for you. Sacks and sacks and sacks of money, rob a liquor store for you. Sacks and sacks and sacks of money, I would stab a cop for you. Sacks and sacks and sacks of money, rob a Chuck E Cheese for you. While you're waiting in the car... Do you remember, the trip we took to Greenland? Ok, I know it doesn't exist, but things would go just as I planned. I made a diorama of us there on our trip Ok, I didn't really do that, but this is what I did. I stole your yearbook and cut out a picture of you, pasted it next to a picture of me standing in the snow and an igloo. And we'll hunt narwhals there, at our destination. What a time we'll have, on our dream vacation. One our dream vacation, One our dream vacation...
3.
Safety Bob was a man who lost his hand in a ridiculous bee truck accident. When he told his wife, she took her life. Now Bob can't pay the rent. What is Safety Bob to do? Cause he sure as fuck don't know. Just walks around thinking about his life. He should have just been more careful. If you think that's sad, this is twice as bad, what the doctor later told him. You have lung cancer and a tumor in your brain. Bob, you've got six months to live. Bob he smoked for twenty years. Didn't think one thing about it. Well tell me friend, I've smoked for ten does that make me ignorant? The death of Bob, didn't take to long. Actually it was pretty quick. At the sight of a gun, most people would run, Bob stood right in front of it. Tell me what have all you learned, from the death of Safety Bob? He died by the gun, so he'd suffer no one. Was that a noble thing he's done? This is the Death of Safety Bob.
4.
Bee Truck 02:43
I was driving yesterday on my way home, stopped at the red light waiting for it to turn. When all the sudden right next to me, come this great big truck it was full of bees. Hey man, didn't you know the Bee Truck's coming to your town? Hey man, didn't you know, you better watch out when the bee truck is around! How unlucky can you get? Mr. Motorcycle Man without his helmet. He should of gone hit the gas and raced, but instead he stuck around and got stung in the face. Oh no! Hey man, didn't you know the Bee Truck's coming to your town? Hey man, didn't you know, you better watch out when the bee truck is around!
5.
My neighbors in the PTA pays all his bills on time. Goes golfing every Sunday gets the kid to bed by nine. I stay up all night screaming once I get kicked out of the bar. I spent all of my rent money on remote control cars. The neighbors shake their heads,I'm a loser by default. I don't care they won't make me a responsible adult. Don't wanna be a responsible adult. Not gonna be a responsible adult. You can't me a responsible adult. Yeah kiss my butt, I'll never be a responsible adult. Wiener! My old friend from highschool, he looks at me with scorn, cause I used his work computer to download hentai porn. He clips coupons every weekend, to save a lot of dough. I drove his car into a lake to see if it would float. The police are after and saying it's assault, I don't care they won't make me a responsible adult. Don't wanna be a responsible adult. You can't me a responsible adult. Not going to be a responsible adult. Yeah sniff my farts I'll never be a responsible adult. Wiener! I went to an upscale party, with black tie and fancy dress and when I left everyone was mad and the whole place was a mess. Cause I ate all of hors d'oeuvres and barfed in the coat check, danced naked across the ballroom, and lit fire to the deck. Everybody screams at me and says that it's my fault, I don't care they won't make me a responsible adult. Not gonna be a responsible adult. You can't me a responsible adult. Never going to be a responsible adult. Yeah lick my choad, I'll never be a responsible adult. Wiener!!!
6.
Man-O-War 02:52
Oh, we sail the seas, we chase the night, we sleep away the day. No quarter shall be given to a man that's in our way. We'll sink your ship. We'll grab your jewels. We'll make you walk the plank. We'll put on ladies clothing, once all the rum's been drank. Oh, once all the rum's been drank! We the streets with fire, glowing in our hands. Our mission follows the sacred lights we conquered foreign lands. Through jungles cities and backwoods, we're masters of our craft. So, get out our way if you value your days, we're here to light the blast. Hey, you live. Congratulations nobody gives a shit. Hey, you die. Would you do a thing different if you were still alive? Hey, you live. Congratulations nobody gives a shit. Hey, you die. Would you do a thing different if you were still alive? Hey! Well shiver me timbers, and shiver me naves. Ain't no one gonna save you, when we're castaways. Ahoy! Together we sail! Ahoy! Together we die! Yar! This is way, how we live our lives! Hey, you live. Congratulations nobody gives a shit. Hey, you die. Would you do a thing different if you were still alive? Hey, you live. Congratulations nobody gives a shit. Hey, you die. Would you do a thing different if you were still alive? Hey! Hey! We fly, out of the ocean and into the sky. Hey! We ride, to pillage your town on the incoming tide. Hey! We fly, out of the ocean and into the sky. Hey! We ride, to pillage your town on the incoming tide.
7.
Well I drove in this neighborhood about 15 hours ago. My car broke down, got turned around, don't know which way to go. And so I started walking on, all the streets they look the same. A right on Cypress Avenue, maybe left on Cypress Lane. Well I've been walking down these streets for so long I might pass out on this manicured lawn. Tan houses in a row make me feel safe, but I gotta get out of this place. Made a few rounds on Cypress Loop and one on Cypress Street. Lost my mind and I started to cry on the corner of Cypress East. My shoelace broke, my cellphone died, I'm too thirsty to think this cookie cutter neighborhood has pushed me to the brink. Well I've been walking down these streets for so long I might pass out on this manicured lawn. Tan houses in a row make me feel safe, but I gotta get out of this place. Desolate and well maintained gated community, drove me right off of the edge straight towards insanity. Well I've been walking down these streets for so long I might pass out on this manicured lawn. Tan houses in a row make me feel safe, but I gotta get out of this place. I gotta get out of this place.
8.
Dang ole! When you need to find the latest news or drain your vein after some brews just on in to the men's room down the hall. There you'll learn just who's a slut, what kind of girl let you pee in the butt, and when to come back and meet some guy named Paul. Oh here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted. Now I read the writin' on the wall. It ain't all writ by punks and knaves, It was here I learned that Jeebus saves. Just read that writin that's writ on the bathroom stall. Some write little some write long some draw funny pictures of a hairy dong or bad haikus that I can't stand. So drop your load into the bowl or try your luck at the glory hole. Just please make sure when you leave that you wash your hands. Oh here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted. Now I read the writin' on the wall. It ain't all writ by punks and knaves, It was here I learned that Jeebus saves. Just read that writin that's writ on the bathroom stall. <Insane ramblings from some hillbilly in the next stall over> So next time you wanna bitch and moan go grab a sharpie go visit the throne and write something real witty there on the wall. Tell everyone just how to vote, about your cousin that screwed a goat, or write a song called "Ode to the Men's Room Stall" Here we go! Oh here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted. Now I read the writin' on the wall. It ain't all writ by punks and knaves, It was here I learned that Jeebus saves. Just read that writin that's writ on the bathroom stall.
9.
Yeah he'd love to shake your hand showing off his great suntan, even in the cold of February. Does it for Florida's protection. Change the hurricanes progression, thanks to his magic stationary. A manicure, his hair is slick. But, still I think that he's a prick. Typical dick-face reactionary. Ignorant to all the facts, worst governor since Sidney Catts. And now he's my personal adversary. Whoa Suntan Charlie can you stop a hurricane? Whoa Suntan Charlie do you need me to explain? Whoa Suntan Charlie settle down and get a grip. Whoa Suntan Charlie whole world knows your full of shit. Everybody thinks it's weird no facial hair, but he's got a beard. Insists that he's no different from me and you. Well, who am I to complain when Charlie stops that hurricane from wrecking up my Sunday barbecue. But, then he goes on the attack. Yeah he can have his sticker back. There's no chance of anyone getting through. Cause now things don't get any better when Suntan Charlie change the weather. But, still I say Charlie Crist fuck you, fuck you! Whoa Suntan Charlie can you stop a hurricane? Whoa Suntan Charlie do you need me to explain? Whoa Suntan Charlie settle down and get a grip. Whoa Suntan Charlie whole world knows your full of shit. As long as Florida isn't hit Charlie doesn't give a shit. Guadeloupe, Mexico, Martinique and Tobago Haiti, DR, the Bahamas, Honduras, and Nicaragua Homes destroyed thousands dead, but did you what Charlie said? He'll protect the sunshine state. Now don't we all think that's so great? Whoa Suntan Charlie can you stop a hurricane? Whoa Suntan Charlie do you need me to explain? Whoa Suntan Charlie settle down and get a grip. Whoa Suntan Charlie whole world knows your full of shit.
10.
In my country we take you out, we buy you drink, we cut a rug, a rug, a filthy fucking rug. And then we laugh, ha ha ha ha under the stars. We can take you home we can take a car. We'll go inside, you come in too. Now we have one thing to ask of you. We make the fuck, we make the fuck. We just want to make sweet fuck to you. Inside the house we stand on couch. We put on moves. We do a dance, a dance, a sexy dance for you. We take off shirt. You like chest hair. In my land it is polite to stare. We turn off lights you turn back on. Here we go because the time has come To make the fuck, we make the fuck. We just want to make sweet fuck to you. Oh my darling it is so great to make sweet fuck on the first date. We tell Galushka in the bath house we party all night. We party all night. So wait the fuck the minute, what you really trying to tell me is... You take her out? We take her out! You buy her drink? Really big drink! You cut a rug? We cut a rug, a filthy fucking rug? You take her home? We go in house! You take off shirt? We stand on couch! and? She no make the fuck. She no make fuck? She no make fuck, she no make the sweet fuck to me, to me!
11.
Hallucinations out of control invite him spaghetti, Albert brings his own bowl. He's got a mattress and a trashcan in his pad. Until the end and back again, watch out man when Albert's in the... Unusual dichotomy he might need a lobotomy I think he mentioned sodomy when I was in his flat. In and out of outer space, he's gonna change the human race got pasta sauce all on his face and some in his mustache. Breakin up them bottles built a rocket, built a model. Now he's leaning on the throttle, blasting down the track. Unusual dichotomy he might need a lobotomy I think he mentioned sodomy when I was in his flat. In and out of outer space, he's gonna change the human race got pasta sauce all on his face and some in his mustache. Breakin up them bottles built a rocket, built a model. Now he's leaning on the throttle, blasting down the track. Wrote the president a letter, Alber's gonna change the weather gonna make the world much better when Albert's in the back. Wrote the president a letter, Alber's gonna change the weather gonna make the world much better when Albert's in the back. Albert you can't do that to the atmosphere my friend. <Insane rant inside Albert's head, don't you want to skank with Ronnie?>

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Our second full length album. This one took us a while to record, but it was a lot of fun. Download the whole album to get some ridiculous bonus tracks!

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released January 18, 2013

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Johnny Cakes and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso Tampa

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